you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
