Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
