What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
