All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Randomize