either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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