She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize