I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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