Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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