accomplished twins. life is a go
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
