last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
