Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
