called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
