just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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