Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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