From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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