Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
