Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
