super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
