i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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