god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
