mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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