Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
