She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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