in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
