Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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