The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
