Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
