Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize