your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize