hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
