i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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