i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
