You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
