I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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