Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
