he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
