We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
