i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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