Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
