I wanna passion pit in your ass
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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