wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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