His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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