I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
