if i died would you start the facebook group?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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