i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
