umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
