is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
