So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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