Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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