you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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