listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
