It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
