I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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