Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
