there's paper in my vomit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
