she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize