can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize