Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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