Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
