Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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