Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize