Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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