I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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