Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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