Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
