we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
