she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
