Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
