but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
