Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
