My hand turned me down
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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