Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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