It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
