I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
