Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize