spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
