I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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