I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
