just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
