You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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